Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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