so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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