He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
