Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize