Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
