on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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