Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
