You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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