my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
