can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
