I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
