Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
