Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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