thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Congratulations! We have a period
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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