I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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