you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
