you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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