There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
