she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
