it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
