TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
