I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
