Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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