You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
