he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
