Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
