Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i am craving dick and cupcakes
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
