I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
