So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
