So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No...this little piggys going to the bar
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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