Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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