One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
