i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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