On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
