i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
