i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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