Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He felt like a one man threesome
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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