Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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