This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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