Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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