We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
