her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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