evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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