Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
