I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
