i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize