This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
