there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
