what day is it and did you see me today?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
