She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
